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Thursday, 31 May 2012

Levelling out...or something

I like to try and write regularly, hence this post, as I didn't have a particular idea in mind, I thought I'd just write.

I think I've come a long way since my "I'm-so-fu*king-angry-at-every-thing-and-everyone-and-everything-can-just-sod-off" post (yes, I am aware that sentence is a nightmare, it's for dramatic effect...although it is a bit drawn out...so misses the point...so does this explanation...yeah).

The fun part of the roller-coaster is best how I can describe life right now. In the 5 years of not knowing, I became more withdrawn, and quite laid back. Whereas before I had a temper on me, ranted more (could you believe it), and voiced my opinions fairly regularly. Now I seem to becoming back to my old self a bit more, feeling a bit more fiery, and generally levelling out my emotions about my diagnosis. However, I have learned to bite my tongue and keep some of the laid back attitude I acquired.

Despite my first post regarding MS being generally positive (me finding a problem and trying to solve it), that was the denial phase, and I was putting up a front for others. I can actually say this with some certainty, I am more accepting of what's happened to me. It's "mild" in comparison to many other people with the disease, but I don't know where I stand (just like many past boyfriends).

Down points will happen, and do, but I have so many great people around me who don't focus on my health, they act like nothing's wrong, unless I need to talk about it. Friends and family, you can't take them for granted (yeah, getting soppy again).

Anyway, in reference to me being my old self, what trivial stuff can I find to moan about? Well, it's trivial, so for now, not worth me writing about, whereas a few years ago I would've done (I still hate the bus, and all the bunting everywhere for the Jubilee everywhere is getting annoying....but see, that is trivial).

Sorry for wasting 5 minutes of your life if you've taken the time to read this. I think I might have made up some kind of a point to this in the end...


Jo xx

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