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Tuesday, 22 May 2012

The plug got pulled again...

I generally use that cliche term when my fatigue hits me. Another cliche is hitting a wall. For me, I feel like I have dodgy rechargeable batteries, that don't quite charge up properly.

For the past week or so, I've had a strange sensation, which was some actual energy (accompanied by some standard tiredness - I won't get off that lightly).

I dared to use some of that energy at the weekend, and when I was at work, it felt like the plug had been pulled or my batteries had run out of juice (a bit like my old HTC "smart" phone, which seemed to drain just sending a simple text message).

So then I found myself in bed, just needing to sleep...constantly...and believe me when I say I could sleep for England. Ugh... Despite this set-back, some other things have been improving - which I imagine is how it's going to be from now on: a roller-coaster full of uncertainties (a set back then maybe an improvement).

My short-term memory is pretty dire, but I can somehow remember something trivial that happened 4 years ago on a certain date. But, I'm happy to say that I can now remember little things which have happened recently, as well as not having to set a reminder on my phone for pretty much everything.

The latter made me feel like an 80 year old woman, now I feel perhaps I have a middle-aged memory (not great for someone of 25, but better nonetheless).

One thing I have noticed though, is how my speech has been affected since my last relapse - stumbling over my words like a drunk...even when I haven't been drinking (this may be a shock to some).

So, if anyone here knows me, if I take a while to say a sentence or get a word out, it's because I'm having to really think about each and every word (on the plus side, I'm not as likely to say something really stupid).

Just imagine a road that your words have to travel from your brain before you can say them, usually for most people, there's nothing blocking it. On my road, there are obstacles, so it takes longer for them to jump, and sometimes they get jumbled up.

Again, another dear diary blog. I'm trying to keep a diary of my experience, so this is it I'm afraid... Here's hoping a cure isn't far around the corner (along with that a cure for every other horrible life limiting disease...)

Sigh... xx

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